For years I have studied harder than anyone else I know, have put myself through various practices to push myself, to break through.
Then when I return to a dying place at Home Farm, I worked within the system diligently, probably contributing in more areas than anyone else. And still they can’t hear, won’t share, won’t listen to anything new.
And then I find tools that enhance the breakthrough and actually DO SOMETHING instead of just repeating ideas. And I am suppressed.
So I cry out to the Heavens “HELP ME! WHAT CAN I DO?” And I keep going quietly. Some FEW get it and start this path themselves.
And my pain and frustration became so bad I chose to leave for one year, but in that year I see that there is WORK to be done. It can’t be avoided once you have a solution and see the PROBLEMS.
So I come back to live among these sleeping mean-spirited Old Cycle phonies, because I feel guided by the Spirit of Vitvan, not just a man called “Vitvan,” but that VITVAN or the One-Who-Knows that sleeps in each of us. I expect to be misunderstood and disabused by these idiots who daily degrade the High Frequency Field they rattle around in with their prattling about gardens, and pretty mental pictures.
And so they feel threatened. They cannot stand having any LIGHT shining upon their ineffectual ways. So they kick me out and turn vicious.
And I’m not going to accept that phonies and bullies and incompetents should be allowed to squat and squander all of Vitvan’s hard work. So I FIGHT BACK.
Of course I am angry. And I am offended on behalf of Vitvan’s Work, his Helpers, and all those enthusiastic sincere students who ran up against this blockade of STUPIDITY that runs rampant at Home Farm.
And then I rediscover my Soul from the iboga work in Costa Rica, and now I know what all this spiritual mumbo-jumbo is about, and how simple it is. That SOURCE is in us and we are born with it, and I know HOW to get it back...
I can outline the Problem clearly, and I have answers.
The solution is clear:
Reason does not work with Unreasonable people living in a private world where they are the “righteous ones.”
A contractor knows that before Renovation can begin, there must be a Teardown and Demolition of the old and rotted-out structure. Fact of Life.
And yet, what I hear is that I am “negative” because I see it clearly and am willing to take up a plan that starts with naming names and calling for a Tear Down of ROT.
I hear the vague idea that there is a “positive” way. If we just keep hoping, the answer will come. WHAT IF the answer HAS COME? Are you waiting to get YOUR answer? Are you waiting for someone else to come in and do the clean-up work (no doubt summoned by your “positive” attitude)?
WHAT IF, after all one’s asking for help and answers, and finding some, that after all these years of INTENTIONALLY trying to help and get answers and being POSITIVE in my hope that answers and help would come, it finally comes. And it says:
GET OUT A BIG HAMMER AND TEAR OUT THE ROT. THROW OUT THE RASCALS. STOP DEFENDING AND MAKING EXCUSES FOR MEDIOCRITY POLISHING THE OUTSIDE OF THE CUP
Bit by bit negativity has crept into Home Farm. The function of the Field is to stir one up and release their negativity. It chugs along in the background.
The problem is that once a Vitvan or an Anita was gone, there was no spiritual Source strong enough to keep clearing away the accumulating negativity, until it gradually built up to where the good intentions of mediocre students wasn’t enough to keep the ship on an even keel, and Darkness set in. The amplified egos of the “keepers” became projections of their private worlds, and Home Farm became Marj's “MY Home Farm.” The Murrays and Wetmore assumed, because they had squatted there so long, that they were somehow “essential.”
When one has put in many years of their hopes and good intentions into an idea, and it disappointingly turns sour, it is a blow. It feels like an violation and an invalidation. They are repelled away by the Positive force in the Field who pushes them out for their own good.
But you leave feeling abused, like a victim. HOW could something you gave so much to be revealed in the last act to be rotten at core? Was this all a joke?
Victims need to realize that there is nothing wrong with them. They are forced out by Dark forces. But they have been burned, and psychologically wounded.
To recover fully, abused victims need to confront their abusers, and take back that part of their Soul which was stepped on. It may not be fun, but it’s healthy, and for those on the Path, it must be done to make the Self whole again.
Home Farm is a microcosm of the systemic rot being revealed planetwide. But my dharma, and I believe your dharma, has made it your microcosm. Think globally, act locally.
Remember the Alamo! Take back Home Farm, for all of us, for the future. Don’t let the Dark Lord steal another Sanctuary.